And we’re back! As your reward for reading, here are some of my favorite dumb memes:
(That last one is funny to me because my husband is a periodontist named William who goes by Billy. If it’s not funny to you, especially because you think all teeth-related things are disgusting: welcome, friend.)
Let’s talk about books, baby.
*everything bookish*
I recently finished reading Brotherless Night by V. V. Ganeshananthan* God bless our public libraries for keeping me up-to-date with new-ish books. But I actually loved this book so much that I went ahead and ordered a copy for myself, which I rarely do!
So in case it wasn’t clear, this novel is incredible. Truly. So good. It’s the story of a teen girl, Sashi, who dreams of becoming a doctor. She’s the fourth of five kids and the only girl in her close-knit family. But said family is soon torn apart by Sri Lanka’s three-decade civil war, as her brothers become involved in the Tamil resistance.
What I loved most: Everything. The story overall is captivating, the very real history is powerful and heartbreaking, and the characterizations are nuanced. It was the type of book that I didn’t want to put down, but I also didn’t want to end, even if it hurt me deeply at various points. It gave me strong Against the Loveless World vibes, so if you liked that book, I’d strongly recommend adding Brotherless Night to your TBR (“to be read”) list. Be sure to check out the content warnings if you have triggers, though. There’s unsurprisingly a lot of violence depicted throughout.
What I loved less: Nothing, other than the reminder that dehumanization is a very real and troubling consequence of conflict, and it’s an attitude that allows us to reduce people, communities, and histories into one-dimensional frameworks that we then rely upon to excuse our own immoral behaviors. In other words, what we are seeing play out in real time in conflicts around the world right now, but particularly in Israel and Palestine.
The book also left me thinking: Does anyone else love reading historical fiction…but not about WWII? Don’t get me wrong: I loved The Book Thief growing up and All the Light We Cannot See more recently. But overall, it’s non-WWII historical fiction, and even non-WWII historical fiction about war, that has stuck with me.
Some examples:
The Mountains Sing by Nguyễn Phan Quế Ma, a multigenerational story about the Vietnam war and its aftermath
As Long as the Lemon Trees Grow by Zoulfa Katouh (absolutely amazing omg truly one of the best books I’ve read with a twist that had me gasp-sobbing cannot recommend it enough), a novel set during the Syrian civil war
Pachinko by Min Jin Lee, another exceptional multigenerational historical epic, this one about a Korean family that immigrates to Japan
Homegoing by Yaa Gyasi, a tale that begins in Ghana in the 1700s and takes readers across multiple storylines—the characters’ paths take them from the Gold Coast to the plantations of Mississippi, from the American Civil War to Jazz Age Harlem
The Underground Railroad by Colson Whitehead, a haunting story of slavery set in the antebellum South, with strong magical realism elements
The Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini, a novel about a young boy in Afghanistan in the 20th century—it’s a story of fathers and sons, of friendship and betrayal
As this list indicates, my interest in wartime historical fiction extends far beyond WWII. I’m wondering if part of this shift is due to what I see as the commodification of WWII fiction, often by women authors. Maybe that’s not entirely fair (or maybe it’s not unique to WWII), but I’m envisioning the classic “woman’s head from behind” book cover for a WWII story (typically written by a white woman—not that it’s an inherent problem, but it is typical) that usually involves a romantic element. Those books are almost always letdowns for me, be it because of the plot or the writing quality. At this point, I generally steer clear.
With that in mind, I want to know a) whether other people have experienced this interest in wartime stories, beyond WWII, and b) if so, what books they’d recommend I add to my TBR list! Or alternatively, if you know of WWII historical fiction that challenges my experiences, I want to know those books as well.
*NOTE: Book links in my Substack take you to my bookshop.org page, which is an affiliate shop that gives me a commission if you choose to buy the books I’ve listed. Zero pressure, of course, and that’s the only time I have any affiliate links included!
Love your mother.
*sustainability inspo*
Periods. Let’s chat about them. Or more specifically, let’s chat about how we manage them. Is it glitzy? No. Is it glamorous? Nada. Is it a very real part of every menstruating person’s life? Yep.
I’ve thought about my period in relation to sustainability for a few years now, in large part because some close friends raved about menstrual cups. I love the idea of them, both the idea of saving money and decreasing my environmental footprint. However, despite my good intentions, I just can’t get on board.
My reasoning is twofold:
First, my periods are usually quite heavy, and it freaks me out to put all of my trust in this one thing that I can’t check when I’m out and about (which is, truth be told, very infrequently, but still).
Second, on occasions when I *do* fill up a menstrual cup, which I imagine wouldn’t be an impossible scenario, it also freaks me out to then have to deal with the full menstrual cup in a public facility. I can’t take it to the sink and rinse it out (and even if I could, I mean, I obviously wouldn’t). I guess I’d just have to dump it out in the toilet (yuck), wrap it in a bunch of toilet paper (wasteful), and stick it in my bag (gross? Also impractical as my bag is 75% open snacks and stale goldfish at this point). Or do you swap the cup out for a new one? Do you just re-use the dirty one? I’m sure that anyone who uses menstrual cups could assuage me with all sorts of details about why it’s not as bad as I think, but I think it’s as bad as I think.
Which brings me to: alternatives to conventional period products that aren’t quite as bad for the earth when compared to conventional period products.
For the past few years, my preference was tampons without applicators. o.b. was my go-to brand because they get the job done, they work well, and they minimize waste (minus, ya know, the small amount of plastic each one is wrapped in). They’re no-fuss. Do I like using tampons with no applicator? I mean, no. But I don’t particularly like using tampons at all. And they’re still better than maxi-pads, which are like adult diapers but worse (and I wore adult diapers for almost 2 months postpartum. Twice. I can speak to this particular issue very confidently).
Starting last year, however, I have become more interested in using period panties. This is in part due to my bad luck with the Nexplanon implant (read: bleeding for literal months at a time), which I only got after I learned that combination birth control pills increase your risk of stroke if you suffer from ocular migraines (boo!). So, long story short, for the sake of my sanity and my body’s wellbeing, I declined to use tampons for so many days (months) in a row and instead explored other options.
Still couldn’t get on board with menstrual cups, tho #sorrynotsorry. Ultimately, I discovered the incredible gift that is period panties. I know some brands have been exposed for having chemicals of concern (namely PFAS), but I am in love with my Unders, and as far as I can tell, they are in the non-problematic corner of the period panty world.
Weirdly enough, I actually joined a market research study around the same time, for period panties of all things! Totally unplanned and weird, but it worked out nicely because I got quite a few free period panties to try out (and keep), a nice development for someone living in period panties for months at a time. As it stands, I remain committed to my Unders, but I also really want to try saalt period panties when it comes time to replace them. I also wore some Always period panties (now partnering with Proof I believe), but I wasn’t a fan.
So long story short: period panties can be life-altering. They’re easy to manage (launder and air dry to maximize their lifespan). They’ve worked for me even on heavy flow days (*cough* months). They’re not ideal for swimming, avoiding VPLs (visible panty lines), or whatever else people in tampon commercials generally do to prove their superiority, but for everyday use for someone who can’t get over her fear of menstrual cups but feels guilty about contributing to landfills with her period products month after month? They’re great.
Gimme a taste.
*yummy things we’re eating*
Oh I’m sorry. Did I not just whet your appetite by talking about menstrual products for 11 paragraphs?
Sweet: Macarons. So beautiful. So delicious. So gluten-free (this doesn’t matter for me but still seems like something worth mentioning). So expensive. Especially at farmers’ markets and fancy bake shops. What better dessert to make at home? Between the two of us, Billy and I have tackled a not-unsubstantial number of macaron recipes, but this one takes the…cake? It’s straightforward. It has many pretty and useful pictures. It makes me wish that I could smell through my computer. Billy recently made a coconut version using this recipe as the base, and they were so good it hurt my brain. And my belly. Because I ate 6 of them in one sitting. No exaggeration.
Salty: Looking for an easy weeknight dinner that’s quick, delicious, and meat-free yet destined to win over even the meatiest of meat-lovers in your life? Enter: These bean and yellow rice bowls. Now, some slight alterations and suggestions: 1. Buy plantains heavier on the unripe side (green) vs. very ripe (yellow with some black) and slice them thin instead of thick. They come out more like chips, but they’ll be wonderfully caramelized and the perfect complement to the rest of the dish. 2. Use great northern beans if you’re like me and think that black beans taste like dirt. 3. Don’t skimp on the radishes. 4. Make homemade yellow rice (here’s an easy option) if you want to avoid all of the ingredients packed into the ready-to-go yellow rice bags at the store. Or just buy the bags. I’m not gonna judge.
Also, if you’re ever concerned that I’ll run out of recipes to share…don’t be.
This is the Trello board where I plan out each week’s recipes (Billy cooks every night). We’ve been adding to it for almost a decade 😂🫣
Odds & ends.
*the uncategorizable, but also very likely just more books*
I’ve loved Jodi Picoult since I was basically a child, but this woman has turned her social media game up to an 11, and I 👏🏻am👏🏻here👏🏻for👏🏻it.
Parents and child-gifting people, take note: I’m pretty sure I love this toy company even more than my kids do. Everything they make is so gorgeous, precious, and perfect. Plus, the company is committed to sustainability and makes their toys from reclaimed rubberwood, a by-product of the latex industry, and plants a new tree for every reclaimed tree they use. Personally speaking, that makes the pricing easier to swallow.
I can’t decide whether this design is genius (helps dry shoes without tracking mud everywhere) or dumb (my toddler’s shoes = black holes of dirt and sand). Plz weigh in.
What are people using for their skincare these days? I feel like I looked in the mirror and realized I look my age—or older. This is especially difficult to digest as a mere 5 years ago, I was still being offered children’s menus at restaurants, (which sounds fun but actually got really awkward because they weren’t offering the menu to my then-preteen sister-in-law). Fast forward to now, when I’m scrambling to figure out how to comfortably navigate visible signs of aging without injecting foreign substances in my face (if that’s your thing, you do you, but it terrifies me) and while still trying to embrace the idea of getting older. Currently, I’m using a few products from The Ordinary (granactive retinoid, multi-peptide + copper serum, and amino acids + b5), an eye cream, my favorite Supergoop Unseen Sunscreen that Abigail got me hooked on, and then just basic and un-glamorous cleansers and toners and stuff. But I have no idea if I’m doing it “right” or whether there truly is a “right” approach for 30s skincare. tl;dr: what do you put on your face?
Someone talk me out of buying yet another reusable tote. I love this company so, so much. I still wear a Brave New World shirt I bought from them in 2011. It has a visible hole in it, but I’ll keep wearing it until it literally disintegrates.
The Women’s Prize for Fiction recently came out with their shortlist, and guess what was on their list? Brotherless Night! Consider this your sign to pick it up! I also desperately need to get my hands on Soldier Sailor, which will absolutely not sit on my shelf for over a year but will instead be read very quickly. For sure.
Thank you for reading what can only be described as “blog post for someone who has lost her way because she is no longer writing dissertation-length documents and is now punishing anyone who was foolish enough to subscribe.”
🤍🤍 Torie
Ok, I actually really appreciate this conversation about menstrual products! I've used a cup for more than a decade and it is a total game changer! I'm totally happy to discuss all the deets, it's much less complicated than you're thinking, but also totally respect that it's not the right choice for everyone! In fact, I'm thrilled there are so many options for period products these days! I've never tried period panties myself, but as a mom of a tween I'm starting to research because I want to have several options on hand for her to her try out when it's time and period panties seem like a really approachable option, especially for new menstruators. Also, skincare is out. of. control. these days! I've really enjoyed incorporating a few Maelove products into my routine (I like to keep it simple though) I like their products, price point, and company. Sounds similar to what you're doing now though!
Torie!! We really need to spend some more time together in person because I loved every part of this (especially the transition from period panties to macarons). Brotherless Night is getting bumped even higher up my TBR now, and I could talk for HOURS about hyping up non-WWII historical fiction (especially since my mom exclusively reads WWII hist fic, usually set in France and I’ve seen enough women-walking-away covers to last a lifetime).